Happy Birthday!

This post is sourced from my old blog.

Original Blog Date: September 8, 2023.

Trigger Warning: Suicidal intonations

How birthday wishes make a difference ?

For a person like me, who hates their existence for most of their life. It makes a difference. Most of this existential dread comes from the fact that I feel like a failure. I haven't failed as horribly in material things, but my mind succeeded in convincing me that I have failed people. I have failed to make it easier for them. I don't deserve to be loved or appreciated.

And amidst all of these gut wrenching beliefs, birthday wishes shatter through. Every "happy birthday" means , "hi i hope you're feeling good today", every "mentioned you in their story" means "look at this person, I'm glad they exist", and every small and huge paragraph, each word of it means galaxies of things, all filled with love. All of it is simply reassurance, it is simply a refill of "stay alive for one more year, some people still love you".